Personal Weirdness Index

Good coaches and consultants stay "marginal"-- we stay close to our clients or coachees, but we also maintain a  certain distance.  Most of us succeed when we stay at the margin or boundary between "them" and "us." If we are too much like our coachee or client, they're not likely to see us as value-added.  If we are too different from them, they are likely to see us as disconnected and remote from their experience.

So, one way to calibrate for this is to assess --and perhaps tinker with-- your "personal weirdness index"(PWI).   That which is "weird" at a conservative Wall Street investment banking house might go totally unnoticed at all at a web start up company where everyone is under 30.   If I wore an ear ring and pony tail to that Wall Street firm, I'd probably have too high a PWI and be thought of as kooky or even dangerous. If I wore a double breasted Armani suit and tie to the web start up, I'd probably be similarly dismissed.

But PWI is linked not only to appearance, but also to behavior. In one client's culture, collegiality, politeness, conformity and obedience are highly valued.  There are many positive benefits to these values, but they tend sometimes to leave little room for passionate debate, civil but  intense disagreement, and creative thinking; all of which this organization needs very badly.  So, my way of being "weird" to them is to openly and politely show my disagreement, invite debate, or notice and point out the lack of creative thinking.  The fact that this seems a bit weird to them allows them the opportunity to see these behaviors and perhaps try them out.  Too weird for them would be disagreement that was personal, snide, rude or sarcastic.

Awareness of your PWI is a way of bringing, as a coach or consultant, something to the client or coachee system that they cannot find in themselves.  It's there, they just can't find it, and that is what good coaching is all about.