Coaching Men of Privilege

It's no accident that a large percentage of leaders in the corporate world are men, and it's no accident that many of them were born to Caucasian families of privilege.  Before we go any further,  let me add that people of privilege include all races, genders and social status.  But in this post, I'd like to deal with men of privilege, many of whom are Caucasian.

Getting through to some of these men on issues of diversity and inclusion can be nearly impossible. 

This is often what I hear:

"I worked damn hard for everything I have."

"No one gave me a break, I had to earn it."

"I started at the bottom and worked my way up."

"Why should someone have an advantage over me because they're of a different race/religion/gender/ethnicity/sexual orientation?"

The best metaphor I've come across comes from a writer named John Scalzi, who is his blog "Whatever"  wrote a post called "Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is."

Ingeniously, Mr. Scalzi compares life to a video game in which you can, at the outset of the game, set the level of difficulty for the game.  For straight white males, they get to play the game of life at the easiest setting.  For others, the settings are pre-set, unalterable and dramatically harder.  

So, it's not that they didn't work hard for every thing they have, they did.  It's not that anyone gave them a break, no one did. It's not that they didn't start at the bottom and work their way up, they did.  But if the game of life--at least in business--can be compared to a marathon, they get to start at the starting line, and have a built in advantage over those who start much, much further back.

This metaphor has worked with many men of privilege far better than an examination of their values and behaviors--about which they are frequently on the defensive--and makes it easier for them to see the effects of their privilege as a systems issue.   Later, we can identify their role, if any, in supporting that system.

Got privilege?