This blog is dedicated to discussion and exploration of coaching dilemmas, trends, best practices, horror stories and anything else of interest to coaches and those they coach.
Coaches are familiar with the "beauties" we coach: eager, responsive and intentional coachees who put their heart and soul into achieving the personal and/or business growth goals they have set for themselves.
But what about the "beasts?" They take many forms, but today's beast is the person we coach who, for whatever reason, we just don't like, or connect with. One way to manage this beast is to simply opt out of coaching them--a viable solution some times, but some times not. For example, I've had several corporate clients who have hired me to coach several individuals, and I have agreed to do so. In some sense, I committed to coaching these folks no matter what.
Yes, I know that "not liking" someone probably says something about what they evoked in me. We can go there another time. For now, I want to address the practical problem of coaching this person.
The solution that seems to have worked for me is to go with the feeling of not liking them, or the inability to connect, and search for something about them about which I am curious or at least interested in. The misogynist CEO? I asked him about the women in his life. He looked to them for support.
The petrochemical engineer who said his whole life was based on ignoring his emotions? I asked him what made him happy. Virtually nothing, and off we went.
The financial analyst who said men blocked her every ambition and that women colluded with them? I asked her what her plan for advancement was given the tremendous obstacles she saw. We had a fascinating --to her--discussion of the possibility of her abandoning her long-held dream of rising to the top of the corporate ladder. (She didn't).
I truly never got to really "like" any of these individuals, but I became very interested in them. That seemed to melt their resistance to coaching and my resistance to coaching them. And sometimes, no matter what, it was not possible to forge a connection, and opting out is what I did.
You can read more about my coaching and consulting practice at www.williampalmerconsulting.com
Your comments are more than welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment